my name is eden i'm 17 and this is my recovery journey from anorexia nervosa, severe anxiety, depression and self harm addiction. im overly obsessed with cats, coffee and taylor swift always here to share, help and inspire

"everything happens for a reason"


Finding Happiness

Coffee date with dad who came after the coffee was ready 😹
Me being stupid and sharing my feelings with the internet

I feel so lonely
No one understands me and whenever I open up to someone I scare them because how fucked up I am
Because this is my recovery blog I try to post the positive side of my recovery from my anorexia together with how I am feeling
The thing is I sort of deny how eating disordered I still am
I am very VERY stuck in a certain aspect of my ED and I’m too ashamed to even post about it
It drives me crazy
I can’t deal with anything
Thank god I’m seeing my psych tomorrow! She’s the only persona I can actually talk to and she understands and doesn’t judge and stuff
I don’t know how I’m going to fit the amount of things I want to say in 50 minuets
I’m probably going to cry a lot
Lately I kind of feel like my brain is constantly crying like I’m just crying in my head 24/7 but I don’t actually let it out
Had anyone ever felt this way?
Idk it’s so weird
I am so depressed at the moment like
Fuck I don’t even know why I bother to wake up every morning
All I do is literally school work and measure food more school work and more food preparations
I’m so sick of it
My psych said that I probably do it as a distraction from being with my thoughts without having to do something
I think I’m overdoing my studies
I strangely enjoy it though like as boring as the content is it gives me a purpose
The only purpose that I have at the moment
And I’m DEFIANTLY over doing food prep 😔😔😔
I’ve also watched a lot of documentaries about vets
It somehow cheers me up knowing that one day I’ll be one of them and save thousands of animals
That’s probably the only reason for my existent
More thank nothing I guess
Sooty this was long and none of you probably care but yeah

Post-dietitian Starbucks ritual ☕️👊
Post-dietitian Starbucks ritual ☕️👊
I wish I was at least beautiful on the outside to make up for how disgusting I look on the inside 😔
Melted cheese 😍
I’m struggling a lot lately
I’m super depressed and anxiety is sky high 
Ed thoughts are really bad and just everything’s is 100% crap
I hate 99% of people on earth
Black cat, black coffee, black life 🌑
Black cat, black coffee, black life 🌑